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Offline Moons

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The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« on: September 04, 2013, 09:20:24 AM »
Running...

Breath escaping in gasps that didn't quite fill her lungs, Moons kept sprinting away from the Hollow. Away from the mess that became of the once-friendly spar. Away from Blackmoore. She still couldn't erase the image in her mind of her teeth embedded in his flesh, the taste of his blood in her mouth. The blood of a fellow pack member. Something she thought she would never taste under her own actions. The mantra in her mind continued to chant, as though it would never cease to leave her alone. You just attacked a pack mate... you just attacked a pack mate... you just attacked a pack mate... Moons had practically failed to notice where she was running, she just knew she had to get away.

Above the mantra in her mind, thoughts slammed at her left and right, trying to make sense of it all. In the end, it only caused more confusion. How could she do that to someone in her own pack? To a friend, no less? The marshes, still well in her mind, slapped her with images of the swamp, causing the Freifau to pick up even more speed. Fear, with no basis whatsoever, made her continue her frantic path; running from the demons only found in her mind, never spoken of to anyone. It was something she kept close to her, afraid of telling anyone else. Of sounding insane... sounding incompetent. Who would want to hear of hallucinations from another? But right now, that was the least of her problems...

Moons, in her current panic attack, didn't know what to do. Where to run. Who to go to. It suddenly felt like she was alone, unable to see anyone for fear of repeating the same incident right now with her fellow Soldier. And could she even call herself one? No one had the right to attack as she had done, and that was normally punishable by nature. Her mind, in it's chaotic state, didn't know what to let go of. The image of the marshes (which had been right there, how could they have been false?), or the one of Blackmoore looking at her, frozen and unsure. Not to mention in pain.

Her energy, as high as it could be from all her training, was fast depleting. It wasn't long before she began to slow down, waver in her determined course, which of course was none. Heart racing, Moons finally slowed down, gasping for breath like she was underwater for a long time. Head hanging and ears drooped, she walked, slowing down until she stopped. Her mind went blank, and she tried to take another step to keep moving, only to fall. She collapsed, then, on the ground, unmoving. Her sides still heaved from the lack of air in her lungs, but after a long while even that ceased to move. If she had taken notice of her surroundings, she would realize that she was now in the Outskirts of Inaria, right on the borderline to the outside world. Laying still, the only indication that she was indeed alive were the tears now running silently down her cheeks.

What had she done?
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2013, 05:56:18 AM »
She'd left him. Alone, scarred and hurt in this darkness. Both physically as well as mentally. But the pain that Blackmoore was experiencing, was definitely far more intimate and personal than a petty scratch, placed between his brisket and the shoulder. Yes, it could be deemed painful - but the paper-cuts are too. Sometimes even more than the bigger wounds. But those were just petty things, in comparison to what he'd felt, after witnessing what his eyes did. He'd deemed it horrible, but in a way which twists your heart and grasps it to squeeze painfully. His soul was saying that she'd did suffered in one way or another - and the mere thought it's true, was nearly too much to bear for him. He'd wanted to do something, but she'd run from him, leaving him in a state of paralyzed awe of some sorts.

But he'd felt more, than just a friend does, so he'd couldn't leave it like that - no, leave her like that rather. What man he'd would be, if he did? What it would said about the feelings he'd was harboring inside for her, if he'd left just like that? She might deem him as just a friend, or just a soldier - but anyway she has to hear that he want to help her. That everything will be all right, and that he's all right so she'd shouldn't worry... And she has to knew these things from him, as otherwise his forgiveness won't mean a damn thing. Those things has finally pushed him out from the strange state of numbness awe he'd got into - thanks to her.

But though he'd been just a moments behind her, it quickly became clear that she'd moved faster than him. Forcing Moore, with time and the passed distance - to fasten up the trot he'd was taking under the trees and through shrubberies and flowery fields of Inaria. Making him to grow even more disturbed with the time and distance he'd passed. Inevitably making him realize which direction she'd go... Which was - the outskirts. But the thought it could not be the end of her way, has pinched him painfully inside, enough to finally cause him run ahead - despite the numbness in his right shoulder. But he'd didn't cared about it.

So he'd let his legs to carry him on at the faster pace, but only for a moment. Marked by the growing fragrance of her – which soothed his mind a bit. Or at least from the part of the worries that has grown up since the discovery of the way that Moons was heading. So he'd slowed down, calmer a bit by the fact, that she'd most probably didn't aimed to run past the borders to dissapear in the outside world... Yet, his mind has wandered back onto the matters which were hurting him deeply, as he'd tried to analyze everything he'd witnessed today. Engaging himself in endless spiral of fear, concern and worry. About her. He'd wanted to do something to ease her pains, but he'd couldn't come up even with courage to step closer once he'd thought he sees her ahead. So he'd just stood in a distance for a short moment. Moment until he'd finally swallowed everything that was making him freeze, making him feel like his legs were made out of concrete. She lied in the grass, shadowed by the nearby shrubberies - looking pitiful that much he'd just couldn't bear it anymore. He'd felt like it all was his fault, so he'd have to do the right thing and at least try to fix it. But that was just a mere thing, among many which driven his actions ever since he'd realized his growing feelings for the maroon female.

Taking the first, silent steps towards her, Blackmoore has directed himself a bit to her side. He hoped that it will give him a chance to take a better look on her, as well it will prevent Moons from getting frenzy again – if she'd somewhat realized about his presence. Soon, his deeply worried eyes has spotted the glowing pearls upon her cheeks, causing his ears to flatten on back of his head – while his face twisted itself in a painful manner. Tears weren't the things he'd ever wanted to see on her face. Not to mention – to be the cause of... Something has snapped in him at this moment, before he'd directed himself back to her. Carefully, with his head low and an very thoughtful grimace written on it – before he'd attempted to lie down beside her, at range of the paw. So not too close, not too far – as he hoped. Though to be true, he'd wanted to lie even closer to Moons. But he'd was too scared of it at the time...

He'd kind of didn't knew, what to do from there. From where he'd lied, with his head placed on his paws and aiming at her. Giving her a very thoughtful, worried look with his green eyes. Eyes in which the cautious observer could probably spot the panic that was hidden just below it's surface. For a moment, all the male did - was to listen up to her breath and soft sounds of pain she'd was going through as the tears kept flowing down her cheeks. But it was just an moment, as soon after Blackmoore has tried to tuck her with his nose as softly as it was possible. Poke her in her shoulder or cheek, whatever was closer at the moment - before he'd whispered to her. "Moons? P-please..."

d-don't run away. - his eyes will finish for him.
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




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Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2013, 10:54:36 AM »
What had she done.... the words echoed in her mind as Moons lay there, unmoving. Still unaware of her vulnerable position, she had her eyes closed as tears silently flowed down her cheeks. Soft whines wheezed out of her with lung exhalations on the occasion, but otherwise she didn't make any other sound or motion. Her jaw was clenched as her mind ran through everything, everything she had gone through. Mostly though, it hovered over the marsh expedition, burned into her mind as flashbacks that haunted her since the day she had found her way back to Inaria. How could she function properly, when she went through times she swore she was back in that hell hole, defending herself from 'real' threats?

What kind of Marshall, much less Council member, suffered with hallucinations?

It was all a whirl for the maroon female, spinning in an endless cycle in her mind. And then there was her attack on Blackmoore.... She half-wondered whether she should leave her ranks, leave her friends, leave Inaria, for the better of everyone else. To not risk having that happen again, to never lay a tooth on another pack member again in the vicious manner she had done so. Unbeknownst to her, the subject of her shame and worry was standing right nearby, just as a whine escaped her throat again, at the thought of leaving her family. Not that she wanted to, but she did worry about what would happen if she attacked one of her friends, her children... and now that it had happened, it all seemed more real. The danger she potentially posed to others.

A slight shuffle reached her ears, which flickered lightly, but Moons still didn't move. She didn't know who it was, and at the moment... she didn't care. Having collapsed earlier, with her legs sprawled out in front of her, only her head was really 'upright' on the ground. She didn't budge from that position, even with the thought crossing her mind that it could be an enemy with the intention of finishing her off. Inwardly she wanted to tell whoever it was that it was fine, they could do whatever they want with her... maybe it was for the better. She pushed the words up, until a faint murmur left her maw. "Go 'head..." she muttered softly, her voice sounding exhausted. Kill me now.

Blackmoore was now laying next to her, but she still didn't move or look at him. Moons still thought it was possibly a Renegade or just a killer coming for her. With her vulnerability, she couldn't defend herself nearly as well. She was waiting for a latch of teeth on her neck or skin or something, and then... a poke came. A soft touch? Maybe they were testing to see if she was still alive. Hadn't they heard her speak? Involuntarily she tensed at the touch, an instinctual habit of something unexpected. "Moons?" Her name? That voice... it was... "P-please..." ... Blackmoore. This made her slowly open her eyes, staring straight ahead at the darkness that had fallen around her. Her eyes adjusted, and soon Blackmoore's silhouette appeared in her right eye's peripheral. Turning her head slightly, she gave him a sideways glance, looking into his eyes, which pleaded silently at her.

Her own eyes spoke of exhaustion, sadness, shame, everything bubbling beneath the surface of her skin. She wanted to run away, to not let him see her (particularly like this), but she just didn't have the energy. Moons had only collapsed here because of her final spurt of energy being spent. As she watched him, silently, their spar replayed in her mind's eye. All leading up to the blurry moments that ended with her here now, looking at him. Her vision swam again as she once again regretted what had happened, what she had done, and she finally broke their gaze as she turned away from him. Instead, she curled up in herself, tucking her legs towards her body and tightening up into a ball. As if she could disappear if she made herself as small as possible. Tears ran again down her cheeks, and Moons closed her eyes and tucked her nose into her tail that had curled around her body. When she whispered next, it was slightly muffled, but still as sincere as ever all the same.

"I-I'm sorry..."
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2013, 05:05:29 PM »
In his thoughts, Blackmoore was blessing the heavens for the fact she'd didn't moved. That she'd didn't sprung forward like a bullet, when he'd approached - and finally, when he'd lied down beside her. But he'd knew that it wasn't the blessing yet. So in his mind, he'd kept on pleading the heavens, gods, ancestors and any other kind of the higher spirit - to give him a chance. Along with the strength and wisdom to make the use of it. Right now at this world, helping her was the only thing he'd wanted. He just hoped that she'll let him to... But he'd also wondered what was that, what he'd seen? Was she a blackblood? Or did she'd gone through a real hell back there, in the marshes? He couldn't say which was true. But whatever the case, he'd wanted to help her. Hold her tight and say it's gonna be fine.

He believed that he'd can make it happen.

No, he has to make it happen. She deserved that, more than anyone else on the world in his eyes. Yes, she'd did and everyone would be a fool to say otherwise. So he'd kept on waiting, with extreme patience for her to react towards his gentle tuck with his nose. It lasted a moment though, before Moons has finally opened her eyes. But what he'd seen in the darkness, wasn't really anything better in comparison to what he'd seen up to this moment. As her look was kind of absent, freezing his heart up with cold after his eyes sought all of pain, shame and fear from her eyes. So his ears has flatten down once more. Like they've been literally pulled down, by all of the weight that her emotions had. It was too much, and he'd didn't meant himself at the moment, but Moons. It was too much for her to bear, Blackmoore has realized that on instant. And he'd felt for her. With all of his heart.

When she'd moved, he'd instinctively tensed up. Inwardly preparing himself for the worst, that she'll leap forward out of sudden. And that he'll have to do the same, as he'd believed that he'd cant let her go. Straight ahead, there were borders of Inaria. And he'd didn't wanted her to leave - but even if Moons has headed back towards the center of the pack, it wouldn't be good either. She was in need in help, but who else might offer it to her - if not he? He'd seen how she does look like, during the attack - so he'd was the only one who'd might be able to help her at the moment. As she'd might be out of reach even for Lotus, with all of her love, patience and medicines. No, he'd knew that wouldn't solve the problem. She was in need of someone who'd already seen it, and could stand up for himself. He'd knew that he'd can be that man, even if that was the biggest role that he'll be ever allowed to play in her life. As that what he'd was feeling for her inside, couldn't be forgotten.

Yet, his thoughts has calmed down a little bit as his eyes has noticed that his friend isn't going to run for it. Instead of that, he'd let her to curl up in a ball in front of his eyes. Since what else he'd could do it, than to let her turn away and do so? He'd instinctively felt that her world has shrunk down to the nearest few meters. So does his, but all the fear, pain and everything else - was caused by the view right before his eyes. "I forgive you..." He muttered the response after a second of pondering about "how he'd should answer". Choosing this path in faith, that it was the right one to take. Deeming the simple diminish of the problem, like saying "don't be sorry" or "there's nothing to be sorry about", as insufficient. Thinking that she'd could start shaking the topic in reply to that, trying to impose him that 'something has happen' afer all. And she'd would be right about that, and it would surely caused only more pain to the both of them. When the words he'd spoke, were short and to the point. They both knew what happen, but he was okay with it. He was really, really far from seeing a monster in her - like she'd did by herself.

Actually, what he'd seen was everything but not the monster.

Rising himself a bit, Blackmoore did something he'd thought that he's unable to. Namely, he'd cringed closer to her. As softly as he could, he'd done that to place his maw on top of her back. And that's what he'd did, gently and with care - while touching her back with his left shoulder after settling in. It wasn't exactly an 'shoulder to cry' position, but he'd had faith that soft touch will at least give her some kind of reassure, in those dark times she'd was going through now. Right now, in this moment - only the gods could know how intense all of his feelings were. The ones he'd kept inside. From the place where his head was softly placed, all he'd could see was the top of her head with ears, and maybe sometimes an glowing pearl of tears flowing down her right cheek. But he'd hoped that she'll let him see right into her eyes soon, as he'd finally spoke: "I want to help you, so that no one will ever hear of it..." He'd begun softly, though with nearly breaking voice as he'd continued. "I promise..."

And it was true. He'd really wanted o help her.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2013, 04:22:37 AM by Blackmoore »
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




(profile / tracker / #896e4f / played by silokk)

Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2013, 09:50:40 PM »
Moons didn't notice Blackmoore's initial reaction to her glazed-over look. She was too far lost in her own mind to really react to it, or take note of it. If she had realized how much it hurt him to see her like this, she would have felt even worse. Pulled some strength, somehow, somewhere, to hide it all from him, from everyone. Just to make sure no one saw the instability raging in her mind in moments like this. Moons tried so hard to keep it all together for everyone around her, to speak nothing of the things that went on in her sleep, in her inner thoughts. And now, with the final straw breaking the camel's back, it was all coming apart. Right in front of the last wolf she saw herself breaking down in front of.

And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Now she found herself with more than just a paw in the real world, holding on more tightly to where she was at this present moment. She still didn't know where she was, exactly, but she knew she was alone with Blackmoore here, and she once again felt the hard emotions pulling at her for attacking him with no warrant whatsoever. She was curled up, in a vain attempt to hide herself (yeah, like you can really disappear, her mind jeered at her), not knowing what Blackmoore was doing or even thinking. Normally she would turn to look, but right now she was too tired, too uncaring to really want to. "I forgive you..." the words floated to her, causing her left ear to flicker even now out of habit. Forgive... the word echoed in her mind, Moons not knowing how to take his words. He forgave her... forgave her for what she had done to him. Did she deserve that?

Her eyes were closed tightly, though she calmed very slightly at his words. At least, her crying calmed itself slightly, enough for her to have a little more coherent thinking. And then, she heard him shuffle. Was he leaving? Choosing to leave her to her thoughts, to go maybe heal himself? Part of her momentarily glad and sad for it. Maybe now he would be ab-- her mind went blank the second his maw touched her back. The touch jarred her even more out of crying, and her eyes even opened. Nothing else happened, and she remained still, unsure now of what to do. Did she react? Did she tell him something? Would it be bad if she didn't say anything? Was he waiting for something? And yet, despite all the firing questions, despite him not being one of those she'd picture asking comfort from... she did find the motion comforting. The muscles she hadn't even realized had tensed were now slowly letting themselves go. Inch by inch, moment by moment, they were relaxing and allowing her to feel a bit more at ease with her current position and state.

"I want to help you, so that no one will ever hear of it..." Her left ear flickered again, listening to his words (what much else was there to listen to, aside from the creatures of the night?). Maybe she had been waiting to hear something from him... "I promise..." His voice... it sounded so sad. Upset. Her ears flattened then, uncertainty spiking within her. What did she do now? She glanced at him; what little she could see, anyway. It was only for a moment, before she gazed ahead of her, unwilling to move from her spot. The silence stretched between them... so many things to say... so little things to say... until there was only one main, burning question she felt compelled to ask, even now. Her voice, finally floating to him, was soft as ever, maybe still with the unwillingness to speak, but knowing she had to say this at least, as she gazed ahead of her into the dark forest beyond. The darkness that now, was so close to her mind, and gripping it tighter than ever.

"How can... you help me...?"
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2013, 07:39:23 AM »
"I really have forgiven you..." He said it again, after a while when he shuffled himself closer to her, to place his head on top of her in an comforting manner (he hoped). Same his words, as he'd really put his soul into them, to make 'em sound comforting. Add an soft, comforting kind of breeze to them. Like those words were about to turn real, just to gently caress the top of her head in soothing, reassuring manner. It was something he'd wanted to make her feel, even if that meant that he'll have to jump into unknown. But so far, Blackmoore was too scared of it at the same time. After all – he'd didn't knew how does she felt about him at this time. So he'd left it for the future... for now.

Soon, he'd closed his eyes for a moment, in attempt to feel her better. To bond his own feelings with hers, and try to sooth out all of the disturbing feels she'd got. The pain, anger... fear. All that Blackmoore wanted, was to ease her now. Take and carry her burdens instead of her. Made her feel that she'd got him, that she's not alone with it. He'd didn't knew did it really worked, but he'd got to feel a little bit better. Better once he slowly realized the decreasing amplitude of her weeps, and that she'd kind of calmed herself down. Hopefully felt better, a bit... safer thanks to him. It kind of made him smile inside to her, as he tucked his head a little bit further into her fur. But not to make her feel any more weight up there, or something like that. He did it softly, to show how much he'd was concerned, and to let sooth out her raging thoughts a little bit more. In every other occurence someone could take it as kind of romantic gesture, but it was hard to agree with it when the both of them were nearly crying. While still hurt for sure. But this gesture showed how big and true his feelings are. Feelings of that he'd got to help her.

For any cost.

Soon, as Moons has relaxed a bit more - Blackmoore has opened his eyes again. Only to see how her head was rising up to take a look on him, in response to what he'd just said. What he'd just promised. He answered her look with the sapphire gaze of his own. Gaze that spoke exactly the same as before. The willingness to make any sacrifice, if that would help her. But if she'd really looked into his eyes, she'd might also find there hope. Hope which he'd tried to give her. Hope for the future, that everything will work their way out just fine. "How can... you help me...?" She finally answered, while looking away from him at the moment. Making him feel like someone has grasped his heart again and squeezed a little bit. As it was a good question - 'HOW'... It echoed in his mind for a while, driving him a little bit desperate about the answer he'd should give back to her. As he'd didn't really knew 'how' to help her now. He'd didn't even knew does Moons was suffering from some recent event - or was she a 'so-called' blackblood? The only thing he'd knew now, was that he'd would be desperate to help her - even if he'd didn't harbored feelings for her in his heart. But since he'd did, Blackmoore was twice as desperate...

Rising his head a bit, to let her look into his caring eyes if she'd wanted - he' finally came up with the answer. An sincere, determined kind of one. As there might be a long road ahead of 'em, but he was ready to drive her through. Give her his hands to prevent her from falling into abyss once more. "In every way I can, Moons. In every way I can..."

Even if it meant to be her punchbag for the rest of his life...
« Last Edit: September 07, 2013, 01:39:53 AM by Blackmoore »
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




(profile / tracker / #896e4f / played by silokk)

Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2013, 10:22:01 AM »
Just when she was debating with herself, Blackmoore added more words to his initial ones. "I really have forgiven you..." It was like he had read her mind. Moons still didn't know how to take it, whether or not to feel relieved. She guessed she should be, to take it as it is, but right now she still felt the raw emotions of what happened, and so she didn't take it. She didn't accept the forgiveness statement from him. Not because it wasn't sincere... but because she hadn't forgiven herself. No matter how she looked at it, there was no excuse for what she did. And there was no going back on it, either. The crickets indicated the lengthening silence, and the silence at the moment magnified her feelings of regret and shame.

Moons felt Blackmoore shuffle somewhere behind her, his body shifting as did his head. She still didn't move, didn't outwardly react to it. Maybe she would have been more worried about it in another time, worried about giving him the wrong impression. But she was too tired, too uncaring to really do much about it at the moment.

Her brow furrowed, confusion rising up as her mind continuing to ramble on by itself. Wondering about the marshes... what it had done to her... what she had done to Blackmoore... how it found them here now... it was all a blur. A blur that was already mixing with memories. Closing her eyes tightly, she tensed in an attempt to gather everything within her, and she forced herself to relax a moment later, letting out a longer sigh through her nose. Her eyes opened once more, amber gaze glimmering in the moonlight. When she posed the question at him, the silence stretched once again. It seemed to be a constant companion tonight, one that both she didn't mind and that she wanted to get rid of as fast as possible. He shifted once more, and though she didn't turn her head to look, her eyes shifted slightly towards him. Not enough to look at him directly, but just to look closer in his general direction.

"In every way I can, Moons. In every way I can..." In every way... funny how her mind tended to echo the words spoken to her. Perhaps another day, another time, another circumstance... she would make a joke. Make a friendly remark over his words, being left so open to interpretation. Not this time, though. Not here, where she felt as far away from joking as could be possible. Instead, what huffed out from her was another, softer sigh. One that spoke of exhaustion, of weariness she didn't even know she had. With her dark mental state, hopelessness rose unbidden with his words. "No one can help me..." she said, her words soft and full of the helplessness that she felt.

Suddenly... she felt alone. Despite the close proximity of her fellow Soldier and friend, Moons still felt like a wall had sprung between herself and the rest of the world. Like no one could reach her in the dark aura that swam around her, consuming her in the filth of the marshes with the fanged demons chasing after her, night and day. "Not with this..." came the whisper, even softer than the last. Like she was afraid to speak of it, that it would come back and finish what it had started. Ears flattened, Moons still didn't know where to go, where to run. She just wanted to get away from it, be rid of it forever. But when it came to something in the mind... how could anyone from the outside help?
« Last Edit: September 06, 2013, 10:34:32 AM by Moons »
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2013, 08:24:36 AM »
The silence that has fallen onto them, has worried him again. Burdened his thoughts because he'd didn't expected it, kind of. Not in sense that he was thinking, that Moons will brighten up immediately and become all chatty again like in the past, when she'd jolted happily through the grass at the birch trail. No, but maybe he'd thought that she'll say something to this? Or hum sadly at least, or something similar. Something that could give him an idea did she'd got to understand what he'd said to her - and what it did meant. Since even now, with the occasional strokes of numbness and pain coming from his right shoulder, he wasn't thinking differently than before. There was nothing to forgive as it was all forgiven in the same moment when he'd discovered the fact she'd wasn't herself during the spar, that she'd suffered far more from it, than he. It wasn't her fault simply - that's how he'd seen it. So his ears has dropped, flattened against the skull after the moment, when it became obvious that she's not going to give back anything in response to his words. Why he did that? He didn't knew, it just came without thinking, along with the soft sight that could only speak for how much he's worried about the scene he'd been a part of.

He'd wanted to do something, but the only impression he'd was getting was that he'd shouldn't do much now. He kept his eyes up though, on the only visible parts of her head he'd could get a spot on from the place where he'd lied his head softly, in attempt to make her feel better. Was he hoping that she'll look at him, into his eyes at some point? Yes, he'd did. And he'd could wait as long as necessary for it, as he knew that every step that might finally lead to it, will be most likely long and painful. It was like trying to get the frightened child out of the den, without coming inside. Sometimes it wasn't a problem, when at other times you could fail miserably. He knew it, so he let his inner patience to take the steering-wheel tonight. He wanted her to know it, so Blackmoore restricted himself to only letting her feel that he's here for her, when she'd tensed again. He did nothing more, nothing less. He only hoped that it was a right path to take.

Though soon, as Moons replied - he tried to have a better look into her eyes. With his head risen, he kind of offered his gaze to her and left her to decide. But the words she'd spoke, has made him feel sadness to the bigger extent again. So he'd listen, flattening his ears again in the same manner as before. "No one can help me..." As she'd sounded so sad, and kind of lonely - he thought. Hopeless, like she'd been kept in a dark place without friends. Just on mercy of those who'd could kill her. Blackmoore didn't even suspected that something like that has happen to her before, but that's how he'd thought. Thought of her speech. Soon, unknowing even what he's going to say - he muttered softly: "Moons," He spoke at the beginning, hoping that it will make her look up into his sapphire eyes before he'll continue. Eyes that will speak of hope, care and determination. "It's only true as long as you believe in it." His gaze will also speak of one more thing. Trust, which he'd been asking her for now.

"Not with this..." She spoke again - silently. Whispering in a way that has made him feel chills on the back of his neck. Making him wonder about the case she'd spoke of, letting him feel that they're coming closer - and farther at the same time. She was afraid, horrified obviously, and that has made him double his worries and insecurities he'd felt now. Coming to conclusion that he'd should be extra cautious, but he'd still have to get it out of her - if he wants to dream about even a chance of helping her. It was like trying to get the torch out, from the cave placed underwater. Seemingly impossible without extinguishing the fire off. Yet he had to do it, for her. That's how Blackmoore has felt, while keeping his head up - trying to look into her eyes. Or at least stay on the borders of her vision to let her see how he's feeling. Trying to give her connection with the real world, not the one with which she'd been trapped inside. "Not with what?" He asked, in a same nearly inaudible whisper as hers. But his has been filled with a friendly trust and care - at least that how he'd hoped it has came out... "Please, I believe I can understand. I've seen what it did to you, and with a full picture - we might be able to work it out Moons..." He gently tucked her neck with his nose, in a try to make her finally look right into his eyes. "I only ask you to trust me on this."

"Just like I trust you."
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 05:25:38 PM by Blackmoore »
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




(profile / tracker / #896e4f / played by silokk)

Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2013, 09:12:26 PM »
It was a strange waiting game that they played with each other. Both unwilling to move, yet wanting to do so many things. It varied depending on who you asked, but on the outside it was the same for the most part. Two silent chess players, both analyzing the other's body language (or what either could see of the other), yet also stuck deep in their own thoughts. Moons both wanted to remain in her thoughts, let them play out, and banish them completely. Be rid of them, so perhaps she could also get rid of the emotional turmoil raging loudly within herself. It made her want to snarl and howl in agony, but her maw remained clamped shut, suppressing the sounds she wanted to release.

Blackmoore's head weight disappeared as he lifted it, and Moons gave another sideways glance at him. It prodded her out of her thoughts for the moment, and her ear cocked slightly towards him. "Moons," came the soft words from the male, making her ear twitch and turn more towards him. Her head, finally, shifted slightly and angled to look at him more directly. It was a silent indicator that yes, she was listening. "It's only true as long as you believe it." As briefly as she made eye contact with him, she broke it. Barely a moment or two of gazing at him before looking away once more, his words revolving in her mind. As long as you believe it... well, she did believe it. Being haunted by the nightmares most nights, experiencing the dive into that hellish moment within the swamp. Logically speaking, she believed it happened to her as a result of the ambush.

Not that it stopped her emotional reactions to it, fear included.

Moons found she couldn't look at him long, her amber gaze flickering between his own emerald eyes and the trees around them. Shame, disbelief, uncertainty... and did she dare admit it?... hope. Hope that maybe, maybe there was a way to make them stop. But she didn't want to believe it at the moment, didn't want to put her hopes up in case they continued as they did. Without restraint, and without consideration for her own mental (and physical) health. And still through all this... still she remained silent. "Not with what?" She almost missed the whispered words, it was so softly spoken. Moons realized what he was asking about, and her ears flattened once more. "Please, I believe I can understand. I've seen what it did to you, and with a full picture - we might be able to work it out Moons..." Work it out? She hadn't been able to do it by herself... how could Blackmoore help? Her mind kept revolving back to that point, and she still wasn't sure how to go about it.

She was so lost in thought, she flinched when he prodded her neck. A twitch of surprise that made her straighten out of her curled position into a regular laying position. Just as quickly as she tensed, she also relaxed, as she realized what had happened. Moons sighed, giving an apologetic glance in Blackmoore's direction, ears drooped. God, she was being paranoid... "I only ask you to trust me on this." Trust him... she sighed softly. It wasn't that she couldn't trust him... while she might be able to do that, it was herself that she didn't trust. "Just like I trust you." Oh, that hit home. A pang in her chest made her wince slightly, at the thought of what he said. "Heh..." she gave a humorless chuckle, a huff of sad laughter that didn't quite reach her eyes.

She tilted her head, angled to look at the soft ground beneath her paws. "I'm surprised I can be trusted..." she finally provided, her tone soft and slightly wavering. "Considering I don't trust myself, sometimes." Then again, if no one knew about it... how could they think otherwise? Moons paused again, unsure once more how to continue. Or rather, if she should. There were too many scenarios playing out in her mind, none that she liked. The marsh scenes still nagged at her mind, and it was the fear of falling back into it that made her continue talking. "I don't know how others would... be able to handle someone who..." -ears flatten here- "someone who has hallucinations..." There. She said it. Hallucinations. The word itself left a bad taste in her mouth, and it made her nose wrinkle in distaste as her tongue ran between her teeth in a scowl. Her eyes remained away from Blackmoore, unsure now what else to say. Did she wait for his response? Continue on with her story?

And due to her thoughts, the silence returned once again...
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2013, 09:50:41 AM »
He was waiting for it from quite a while. For the moment that Moons has finally laid her eyes on his. Even if that contact didn't lasted long, the dark hued male has deemed it as sign of progress. A step ahead, towards gaining her trust that would let him hear her story. And hopefully - let him heal her. Or at least be a major part that would lead to the faster recovery of the woman that lied beside him. Still curled up, fearful, doubtful... But finally feeling brave enough to at least take a look at him. He knew it was a small step for him, but a huge leap for her. And he'd was grateful that she'd finally made it.

Especially that soon she'd graced him with more of these looks, also lasting not more than a flinch of second - but still. They made him hopeful, that he can do it. Help her, that is. Though he'd couldn't deny that the fur on his nape has bristled a bit, when Moons has start to move. Un-curling herself, tensed - she'd put his mind at full alarm. Shutting all of his hopes for a moment, until she'd relaxed and looked back at him. As he realized all that, he couldn't not to smile softly, a bit sheepishly at that to show her how grateful he's for that she'd snapped a little bit out of her previous state. It was always something, even the humorless chuckle that she'd tried to gave out soon after.

"I'm surprised I can be trusted... Considering I don't trust myself, sometimes." She finally said in a different tone, that wasn't so much marked with grief and fear as before. Causing him to smile a bit for her, as he'd listened. "Everyone sometimes has doubts about themselves." He gave out a soft, delicate chuckle as he'd kept his gaze on her eyes. "But don't ever doubt that you cannot be trusted, as I do trust you since the day we've met. Since the day I've seen a beauty both inside and out, a gentle and caring soul that you harbor within... Whatever did happen later..." He spoke, still smiling softly – but this time more with his eyes than maw. Eyes that have also spoke of faith, that whatever they did to her, the Moons he'd got to know long ago - is still there inside. Still beautiful, caring and soft as before. Even more - as he'd remembered her from the months that passed long ago. "Whatever they did to you, no one will ever be able to change who you are... Don't ever try to doubt it." He finished with a caring voice and encouraging glance of his emerald eyes as he'd gathered himself up to add the one last thing. The meriutm, that (as he'd hoped for) should giver her some of faith about her own state of mind. "From all people I have ever met, you're the one that should be trusted." And there was no doubt about it.

"I don't know how others would... be able to handle someone who... someone who has hallucinations..." She said, letting him see how heavy burden it was for her. As her face twisted unpleasantly, sadly – before she'd turned her gaze away. Leaving him unsure of did he'd should be happy or sad about that what he'd heard. But not in a wrong sense of the word. The thing that Blackmoore had in mind was that Moons wasn't opening herself that much to him before. He'd felt kind of happy for that she'd trusted him at last to say it, but the news itself has kind of suppressed the most of this feeling. Since those were bad, but he'd couldn't say that he'd expect to hear something different. But even expecting, no one can fully prepare themselves to hear such things. He'd felt sadness for her, as well as rage that he'd couldn't prevent it. That he'd wasn't there with her, and didn't shielded her from whatever has happen to her. The feeling was probably normal for everyone who wants to deem themselves as friend of the person that suffered – but his feeling was a twice as strong. For the obvious reasons that is.

But now, he didn't know should he indulge her more, about what has exactly happen to her? He was scared that it would be a kind of error to do, so he'd remain silent for a while. With a face overtaken by concern for her, even trying to prepare himself to hear about the worse that any woman can experience from a male. As Blackmoore was pretty much clueless about the reason standing behind her hallucinations. Hallucinations that have sparked a fierce defiance from her earlier today... With his ears being still flat, he'd finally gathered himself to at least utter the word. As he'd desperately tried to comfort her, without pressing her too much. He only hoped that she'll understand how he'd got to feel now. "Moons, I'm so sorry..." He kind of wanted to say more, but he'd found himself speechless (and kind of feeling stupid). He could only look at her, full of concern and doubts about what has actually happen to her. Silently praying for that she'd didn't experienced the worst. Though it was hard to distinguish what could be that thing, as every traumatic event does leaves a huge scars... "But we'll make 'em stop, I promise." He said out of sudden, while pushing his left paw towards hers right one.
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




(profile / tracker / #896e4f / played by silokk)

Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2013, 10:11:09 AM »
She wasn't paying attention at the moment to Blackmoore's reaction to her; Moons didn't feel like she could look at him straight in the eye. It was hard enough for her to admit things about herself, particularly her feelings about things. Even to those closest to her, she had to push herself to speak of things she kept to herself for the most part. And to those she didn't know as well, or feel as comfortable... it was even harder. The fact that she was able to admit it to Blackmoore showed that she was in dire need to talk to someone about it. He just so happened to be there at the time where it was perhaps most crucial for it to come out in the open.

"Everyone sometimes has doubts about themselves." Her ear flickered, listening to his words. She still kept her eyes averted, though she could feel that Blackmoore was gazing at her. "But don't ever doubt that you cannot be trusted, as I do trust you since the day we've met. Since the day I've seen a beauty both inside and out, a gentle and caring soul that you harbor within... Whatever did happen later..." The compliments made her feel uneasy, as ironic as that may sound. It was like she was placed on a high pedestal, and she wanted to get down. Moons wasn't used to being lifted so highly, other than being complimented by friends every so often. Being trusted... it left a chance to let someone down. Break it, and that was something she was afraid of doing. She put her trust in others, for sure, but to have them place their trust in her made her feel both happy and anxious. "Whatever they did to you, no one will ever be able to change who you are... Don't ever try to doubt it." Whatever they did to her. Moons let out a sigh, her mind traveling briefly to her kidnapping, the ambush... only a fraction of things she had experienced and lived through. "From all the people I have ever met, you're the one that should be trusted." Moons gave a small chuckle, unsure if she felt like that with her potential risk.

"I don't know," she said, giving as close to a shrug as she could. It was as simple as that. She just... didn't know. Didn't know about being the one that should be trusted above all others. But still... she had to admit, it was nice to hear. "Thank you, though." Her ears swiveled back slightly, and Moons glanced at him briefly. A hint of a smile appeared on her maw, though it disappeared just as quickly. Uncertainty was what kape the smile from remaining on her muzzle.

It was slightly anxiety inducing, the silence that settled between the two after Moons finally admitted to her problem with the flashbacks. Inwardly she was restless, waiting to see what he was thinking, or what he would say. Despite what she said, she did care about what others thought about her, and she didn't think she'd be able to take it if he were to think she was crazy. It might just cause her to run away again, and this time further in the wrong direction. As a matter of fact, Moons was preparing to do just that, when he finally spoke. "Moons, I'm so sorry..." He was sorry? She looked at him now, a look of slight confusion on her face. The concern in his eyes was obvious, and it made her feel at odds with herself. "But we'll make 'em stop, I promise." He touched his paw with hers, and Moons glanced down at it before looking back at him. Her paw twitched and moved back slightly at the unexpected touch, but otherwise it did nothing else.

"How..?" she said softly, after a moment or two. The question stuck in her mind, and she found herself revolving over that one-worded phrase. Just... how? Her restlessness was too much at that point, and Moons stood up all of a sudden, getting to her paws and pacing in a circle. She turned and faced Blackmoore, ears down and her brow furrowed in a pained and frustrated look. "How am I supposed to get rid of this... t-this... nightmare?" Her voice shook slightly, feeling at a loss with herself. Feeling like she had no other choice but to deal with them and hope that they didn't hit at the wrong time, or the wrong place. However, there was something she did know...

Clearly her plan wasn't working out so far.
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #11 on: October 03, 2013, 05:51:19 AM »
She could think of it differently, but nothing was happening without reason. That it was meant to be, that Moore will be the one to listen to her. And help her with time, if she'll allows it. Since he'd been the one who'd witnessed her trauma, and got hurt in the process. Others would understand her, true. But other friends of her haven't felt the grit of her teeth on their skins, ripping it apart. Didn't felt her claws as she'd tried to make her way to imagined safety. They didn't breathed the stench of her fear, as she'd succumbed to the nightmare. But he did. And that's why the present was meant to be right from the start. If Moons 'lash out' would happen around someone else, then someone else would be meant to take this place now. That wouldn't be an accident either. In this complicated world, that one law was simple for him.

"I don't know, Thank you, though." She replied after a moment, way lighter than it was happening before. Letting his eyes to go at ease a bit, as it was happening to the turmoil inside his head. As his mind become certain that she won't do anything rash anymore. That, as he hoped silently, the worst was behind them, speaking figuratively. In sense that he'd stopped on being frighten that she'll run away from not just him - but Inaria. He couldn't explain this though, it was just a feeling. Feeling on which he smiled back to her, the same moment as she did. His smile will last longer obviously, nerveless it was a reply to one she gave out just a seconds earlier. Still, even as his own has faded - he kept his gaze on her. Smiling for her with his eyes kind of. Simply because he deemed her smiles as the most beautiful ones ever. No matter the size of it, he loved 'em all and wanted to see more of 'em. Even for a price of his life...

And that's when he did that. Touched her paw, though without any romantic intentions to it. He just wanted to say inaudibly to her, that she's not alone in it. That he cares for her, unaware of that she'd already got to know it via someone else. Still the point was true - he'd just wanted to be her friend in this. No matter what kind of one, but a friend that will help her get through with it safely. Help her regain peace inside her, so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But she'd took her paw away, not by far but... enough far to make his paw twitch too. Made him took it away in hurry - to curl under himself as his ears flattened and a doubtful, embarrassed and sheepishly shy grimace crept on his face. He just didn't knew what to think of it. Of that she'd take her paw away like that, and that he'd even let himself to touch her so casually like that. Some curses have been spoken then in his mind, addressed towards the matter of his stupidity - causing the other paw to follow the first soon after as he'd nearly muttered down to the ground. "Uh, forgive me that..." Out of blue, he'd got to feel like her at that moment. Tensed and anxious, kind of wanting to run away just like she. It took him a second or two before he'd got a grip on that sudden occurrence and returned to normal.

Still his jaws gritted uncomfortably on it, as he'd seen Moons standing out of sudden. Scared, he'd thought that he'd messed something up, but the thought was washed away once he'd realized that she's just nervous and circles him around. Even before she'd made first one, he'd already realized that as Moore was sharing her habit to do so in the stressful moments. Still, it was hard to say that he'd got to feel any more comfortable, as her question has pierced him through. Put in doubt because he'd didn't know really. All he could say, it was how he'd dealt with his nightmares of the past... But every man or woman - was different. His way wasn't the only one, his remedies might be someone's else poison and so on. The differences though, were the thing that made this world beautiful at the other hand. But he'd didn't spoke of it as it was some kind of answer. Simply because it was just a unrelated thought.

Soon he'd stood up to her, as her voice indicated that she might be at the end of her wits. Causing his heart to twitch slightly in pain on that spectacle, and pushing his paws to stand before her - not letting her to complete the next circle. "Moons," He'd spoke to her calmly, with his eyes looking straight at hers. Softly, and caring about her (and her fate) - yet full of confidence about that what he'd was about to say to her. "We both know that there's no straight answer to this... That there isn't a way to make those go overnight. Go away..." He'll say, softly but full of concern. "I want to help you, but you have to accept that the answer for this... Is you." He'll say, sighing heavily at the end. Letting her to know how concerned he is for her. "You have to find it inside, just like I did years ago. And still, I can't promise that they'll leave you alone. I can promise you that though - that you'll learn to live with it, just as I did. And whatever it will take us to find it, I'll help you."

"But will you let yourself to trust me?" He'll add up silently at the end, still looking into her eyes.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2013, 05:55:07 AM by Blackmoore »
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




(profile / tracker / #896e4f / played by silokk)

Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #12 on: November 20, 2013, 05:13:14 PM »
Moons noticed when his paw pulled back, as a response to her own movement. It made her feel a twinge of guilt, but regardless she made no move to go back. Instead she just watched him, though that only lasted a few moments until she looked away. She found she couldn't keep his gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. Guilt? Hell yes. But maybe it was also that she didn't want to look at the caring expression he kept giving her. After what she did to him, the fact that he still cared for her at a time like this... it ate at her. It really did.

So did the anxiety, as she began to pace the area, her mind revolving in a twister of thoughts that kept spinning in her mind. It was leaving her almost dizzy, and a heavy sigh escaped her as she continued the motion. Not being able to keep up with her own thoughts, it made her even more anxious. It might have flown over the top, had Blackmoore not stepped in front of her and stopped her in her tracks. Almost becoming nose to nose with him, Moons gave a small yip and took a few steps back. She didn't feel comfortable being that close to him. Especially knowing his feelings about things. About her.

"Moons," he said, forcing her to look at him. "We both know that there's no straight answer to this... That there isn't a way to make those go overnight. Go away..." Go away... something Moons desired; to be set free of the demons that haunted her sleep, her habits... her life. "I want to help you, but you have to accept that the answer for this... Is you." Her brow furrowed, processing what he said. Subconsciously she knew... she knew that the only one she could rely on for help was herself. No one could stop the demons but her. "You have to find it inside, just like I did years ago. And still, I can't promise that they'll leave you alone. I can promise you that though - that you'll learn to live with it, just as I did. And whatever it will take us to find it, I'll help you." Help. He kept repeating that to her, showing he wanted to help. But was she ready to accept it? Moons didn't let go of the uncertainty, not knowing what to do with all he was offering. "But will you let yourself to trust me?"

He was looking at her, but she couldn't look back at him. Was she ready to trust him? Moons turned away from him, taking a few steps away before pausing near a tree. Turning halfway back towards him, she sighed and looked at the grass near her paws. "I don't feel like I can trust myself at the moment, Blackmoore," she admitted, her voice soft and tired. "I know you want to help, I know you do... I'm just... just..." there was no other way to put this, "..scared." Scared of accepting his help. Scared of getting too close. Scared of... herself.
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Offline Blackmoore

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2013, 06:35:56 PM »
"Scared," he repeated after her. Softly like he'd was talking to a child, though he'd been unaware of that by himself. He'd did though, was aware of what she'd was coming through. Not in full, since everyone's experience was different from the other, but in half. Maybe in more than that. As she'd spoke to him, he'd felt like her feelings were transferring to him, making his fur to grit up. Like it had been electrocuted by some imaginary force. Not for long, for one tenth of second or so. But yes. He'd was scared like she was. For different reasons of course. But still.

He'd cared for her.

"I know. I'm too." Moore spoke'd to her, taking a step closer, but way away from her safety circle which was about the swish of her tail and claws. He'd didn't wanted to make her take a step back, especially in this situation. They both were scared, for both different, and same reasons. He didn't wanted to see her taking it wrong, so his eyes looked up to her with care - like always they did from quite some time. Still, he'd took that step and stopped just outside the range she'd marked a few times before, and just minute earlier when she'd yelped both horribly and sweetly at the same time. He couldn't explain why, but... He'd just felt that way. It was such a shame that they weren't close enough to make anything out of it. Since... Since he'd deemed it kind of sweet. Or he'd would be, if she'd didn't took so many steps away after this. Well. He'd was a man still. Madly in love in that woman. It wasn't like he'd got a choice about his feelings to her...

In truth, he'd was doomed. He just didn't knew it yet.

Not like it would change a thing. Since he'd wasn't a teen that could redirect his feelings in just matter of days. He'd was hard to trust, and even harder to love. So he'd kind of didn't had a choice now. He'd waited for her whole his life, and though he'd was unable even to give her a reassuring hug... He'd still was unable to give up on her. So whatever she'd decided for him, he'd was about to accept it. But now, he'd was trying to help. Though he'd didn't knew how really. He'd summoned his memories to help, so maybe they were the cause of what he'd spoke next.

"I know that..." He'd spoke to her delicately like never before. "That you're not just scared of yourself." He'd looked up to her with care. Like he'd always did. "But of me too..." He'd didn't knew what to do with this sudden confession, so he'd kind of broke their eye contact they have. Showing, proving, how scared he'd was on his own. Showing the degree of embarrassment for even daring to think of her like a man can. But, though he'd did in his most deep and secret dreams. He'd was always dreaming of making her smile in one way or the other. He'd never thought of himself at first, but of her.

Anyway. He'd spoke what had been to say then. All he could do was to mutter down to the ground and hope that she'll stay enough long for him to explain. Not in full, just enough long to trust him enough that he's leaning her a shoulder in these dark times just because she needs it. After all, he'd only wanted her to be happy. Even if it meant her to be with someone else, not him. But that part, he'd left unspoken. "I-I..." He'd stuttered for a moment. "just want to help you."

"No matter the price." He'd finished with a noticeable tune of determination in it, though still looking down to the ground out of embarrassment.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 06:39:03 PM by Blackmoore »
you saw my pain washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart

but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright,
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright




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Offline Moons

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Re: The demons that still follow [prp Blackmoore]
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2014, 10:36:15 AM »
"Scared. He repeated the word she had uttered, and it made Moons flinch. She hated admitting fear of anything to anyone around her, but this time it just came out. She knew otherwise that he would keep persisting, keep wanting to know. And honestly, maybe she wanted someone to do that. But she wasn't sure. "I know. I'm too." Scared of her? Scared of what? Her ears flickered back, even as he stepped forward. It made her want to leave, to start running again, but she wondered if that would do anything productive. Would he chase after her? Would her leave her alone? All the questions whirled in her mind, and Moons had no idea what to do with them. It was tearing her apart.

She was so into her own thoughts, she almost missed his next words. "I know that... that you're not just scared of yourself." Ears flat on her skull, she didn't reply. Moons was at a loss for words, wanting to say everything and nothing at once. "But of me too..." And she looked away again, not being able to look him in the eye. Was she scared of him? It was possible. But she didn't want to be scared. Not of her own pack members. Not of her own self. But the fear for their safety rose up unbidden, and it scared the crap out of her.

"I-I... just want to help you." Moons looked at him again, and he looked so down-trodden. Almost... embarrassed. "No matter the price." A whine escaped her maw, just not knowing what to do. "I know you do..." she whispered through another whine, shifting on her paws in place. She wanted to walk again, run again, do something with herself. Get away from this spot, while staying here forever. Be alone, and be accompanied at the same time. It was such a conflict of emotions that it was driving her crazy, despite her best efforts to calm down.

It was like she was on a roller coaster, feeling the emotions swell up then deflate down, only to swell back up when least expected. Moons was shifting on her paws again, digging her claws into the dirt as she debated on what to do. She wasn't even sure why she was so uncertain about all of this, but she was. Maybe it was the anxiety trailing after her, but it was keeping her from doing anything. Amber eyes glanced at Blackmoore again, still looking down at the ground, and she suddenly had a question she wanted to ask him. The thought stilled her movements some, though she still wanted to move, run, something. "What did you do..." she asked softly, looking at the grass between her paws. "For your own... your own nightmares..." He had admitted as much that he had them, didn't he? "How did you find it?" Her ears were still laid back, and she didn't step any closer to him.

But she didn't step farther away from him, either.
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Characters I Actively Role-play: Moons | Corvus |Rykryk | Flamestorm | Seven |Yoki | Phoenix | Electra | Coronach | Cruciatus | Zodiac | Tide | Skylar
Been on IDS since: January 26th 2008