Author Topic: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]  (Read 611 times)

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Offline Apocolips Replymaster

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Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« on: August 30, 2017, 10:27:16 PM »
I ain't no angel
I still got a still few more dances with the devil
I’m cleanin' up my act, little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be
- Better Than I Used to Be, Tim McGraw

The wolf knew these mountains, knew these paths as he made his way up the last of the cliffs to reach the top of the rim that kept him from the place he called home. So much had changed, and he was not part of it because he had left. When Ariath had died, he had been lost and the pups that could have been born had been lost as well. All he could do was run, run away to deal with the pain that threatened to over whelm him. In that time he knew that he could have been needed her but everywhere he turned reminded him of the bright hued beauty he had lost. The thing that had made the pain in his life all worth it. And it had been torn from him the moment they had tried to expand their family it had all been taken away. Friends had tried to help him, but it had all been taken away so quick and the Fury that road him every day threatened to take over because of the grief. But after some time now, he decided it was time to come home. He needed to come home to the one place that left him peace. Despite the fact it also caused him pain.

The swamp hued wolf had been a staple here, before he had run away. he had been the head border guard under the alpha Shenandoah, been trained under the great Skyrunner to be a guard, was friends with the head warrior and was friends with Jakoby. He remembered their faces as if it was yesterday he was here. But that had been some time ago, and he was no longer the younger wolf that he was when he came here. His face was more worn and he looked more like a homeless veteran than the head border guard that he was. But the wolf in him that missed the mountains that he called home. He missed the woods and the thought of having an actual pack. How much had it changed in his absence? Did anyone he know still live here? He had no idea. But the wolf heard a calling and had to make it there.

His stubborn bones made it up the climb, made it until he could almost feel the trees casting shade over him. Could almost feel the soil beneath his paws. Instead, he felt the rocky soil that made the mountains around the moon palace. He reached the top, and all he felt was his breath leave his body. It could have left at any moment, but it was this moment that it left him completely. HOME It seemed to scream at him. This lovely place, he knew he was home. The old Fringe closed his eyes, taking in a deep breathhe smelled it. He wanted to take that final step, the one that would take him into the world that he used to call home. But Cyenide knew that, so instead he waited for the guard to come, just stood there like a proud statue. His eyes closed and his head lifted, taking in the feel of finally making it home.

And he would be, once he was accepted into the pack again. Maybe they wouldn't have him back, but the old wolf had hope. And she he waited with hope.

Offline Sekirei

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2017, 05:33:07 PM »
(Throwing Akutan in here. He's Storm and Starfire's son.)

The Maelstrom was running his circuit as per habit. He could smell someone nearby and rounded the bend to see an an old Fringe Dire. "Hail, stranger. You've arrived at Nardir. I'm Akutan, Maelstrom of the Jovian Winds. What brings you here?" he asked. His customary half-scowl, so much like his father's, was at home on his face but his tone didn't match it. He was thinking about a certain red angel waiting for him and his heart was light with anticipation. He really wanted to start a family soon but it was only a matter of time. For now, he had a job to do and it had been sometime since someone had come seeking them out.

Akutan sat down to await the oldster's reply.

(Short. Blah. Tired.)
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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 06:50:43 PM »
The old veteran was still enjoying the wind, smelling of the home he had called once to everyone he had met. The old wolf did not seem to be bothering anyone, just make sure that this was the place he wanted to be. Cyenide had missed being here for so long. The wolf just wanted to live out the rest of his days being at home. The lands he once roamed himself. Still, the swamp hued wolf just kept to his silent pleasure in just taking in the air, the wind going through his fur. At least, until he heard steps followed by a voice he did not recognize. "Hail, stranger. You've arrived at Nardir. I'm Akutan, Maelstrom of the Jovian Winds. What brings you here?" And that brought him out of his thoughts, of memories long since stored. He turned his grayed muzzle and dark eyes towards the younger voice. He turned around, noticing a familiar scowl on a different wolf's face. And the title of Maelstrom was different as well, as they did not have that when he was here before.

But he looked at the wolf in front of him, wolves he recognized in front of him. The silver markings and the lightning bolt mark along with the scowl made him remember the wolves they used to belong to. The old wolf answered, his words gruff. "Hail Akutan, Maelstrom of the Jovian Winds. I am Cyenide, a old soldier who has finally stopped grieving and wants to return home." And that was true. The wolf was gone with his grief over Ariath, over the loss of the pups that would have been his. He had been doing great in this world, and then it was all taken away from him the moment the dogs invaded and destroyed Nardir. He grieved hard and did not come back when he heard the call Nardir had come back to life. But after these long years, the wolf decided that it was time to come back.To finally find peace in the land that brought him so many good times.

But the wolf in front of him knew things. But so did Cyenide. "Is Shenandoah still alpha here? Or has time taken her to follow her mate?" Had she finally followed her mate Kyril into the beyond? Cyenide wished that the blonde alpha had finally met her love in the next life, as she grieved for him while in this one. He wanted to ask about Jakoby, Starfire and the others he had been friends with while he was here. But he eyes narrowed as he moved towards Akutan, his eyes taking in his form. "Who are your parents Akutan?" Was it Storm? The only wolf he knew to have the marks this one did was that older wolf, but right now he wanted to be welcomed home, to find peace in his last days on this earth - if they were days. It could be years before he was finished in this life though.

[OOC: Your good. :D]

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2017, 01:08:06 PM »
 "Hail Akutan, Maelstrom of the Jovian Winds. I am Cyenide, a old soldier who has finally stopped grieving and wants to return home." the oldster said. Sitting down, Akutan tried to remember if he ever met this wolf before. "Is Shenandoah still alpha here? Or has time taken her to follow her mate?" the wolf then asked. "She has long since passed. Rulership has passed to her daughter, Alana, and her mate, Julek." the young black wolf said. That would mean that this one was probably a contemporary of his uncle. He flicked an ear only slightly as Cyenide looked him over. "Who are your parents Akutan?" he then asked. "Storm and Starfire. Both now gone. Now that I recall, I think you served under my uncle, Byakko, as a warrior." Akutan replied, now pretty sure that he was recalling correctly.

Byakko would be pleased to see one of his former warriors again. There were so few of the Old Nardiri left now, those that lived in the pack before the Exile. The Maelstrom had to wonder if Cyenide had still been in the pack when things went to hell. He himself had only been a pup at the time and, well, the effects of that time were plain on him. Still, for all the death and upheaval that followed in Loathe's wake, he was finally getting his act together. He had a beautiful mate, Kyra, and his family was growing again. The Clan had been hit particularly hard by the Exile.

 
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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2017, 07:11:14 PM »
She has long since passed. Rulership has passed to her daughter, Alana, and her mate Julek. Cyenide felt pain at the lost of the female who had been the head of Nardir for so long. Had she died before he had left and he had not known? He did not want to ask, because he didn't want to cause trouble with the wolf in front of him, in case it brought bad memories. He didn't know this Julek, but he remembered meeting Alana. She looked like her mother, but had the soul of her father Kyril. Not that Shena hadn't been her own soul, hadn't been has strong, but the male had been heard to be strong in the way of battle. "She had missed her mate for so long...I hope that they are reunited in the afterlife." And it gave him hope, an Old World ideal, that he too would get to meet the mate he had lost before he had run away. Still, the navy wolf waited, listened as the younger wolf spoke some more to him. His mind racing at all of the changes that had been brought.

"Storm and Starfire. Both now gone. Now that I recall, I think you served under my uncle, Byakko, as a warrior." Cyenide smiled, remembering Starfire more than Storm. He had never met the gamma, even when he had been the leader of the border guards. And he remembered Byakko, both of them old and worn fighters who had risen from the dust to become great leaders. He laughed though, when the young wolf spoke about him serving under Byakko. "I never served under Byakko. before I left, Jovian Winds were called border guards, I was their head. I trained them and worked with Byakko to have spars between them. But I remember you mother....she was a good wolf. You look more like her than your father, I would assume except for that mark." And that was the truth. The young dark wolf looked more like his mother, built to run and chase than to stay and be a blockade. "Is Byakko still here?"

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2017, 08:35:47 PM »
Akutan had to agree that Shenendoah and Kyril were indeed reunited, running free in the afterworld. "I never served under Byakko. before I left, Jovian Winds were called border guards, I was their head. I trained them and worked with Byakko to have spars between them. But I remember you mother....she was a good wolf. You look more like her than your father, I would assume except for that mark." Cyenide said. Akutan paused for a moment before chuckling. "You know, I think I mistook you for Cypress. My apologies. As for who I take after, perhaps I do take after Mom more than Dad. Never thought about it before, to be honest." he said. Scratching behind his ear, the Maelstrom filed away his corrected info. "Is Byakko still here?" Cyenide then asked.

"Yes. Still alive and kicking. And enjoying being a first-time grandfather. I know he'll be happy to see you but I should probably warn you that I can't guarantee he's going to remember you at first. We lost...too much to Asylum. My grandpa and then my parents. Even Aunt Raka for a short time before she came back recently. Byakko's memory is still sharp, mind, but we're all still recovering from what we lost day by day." he said. Settling back into his usual business demeanor, Akutan prepared to start his line of questioning. "Are you ready to begin the acceptance process?" he asked.
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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2017, 12:42:28 PM »
The old wolf knew that changed happened, but when it happened and you were not present for it, it seemed kind of sad. The old swamp hued listened to the wolf as he spoke, as he swung his head back towards Nardir, the changeless place that somehow kept changing. You know, I think I mistook you for Cypress. My apologies. As for who I take after, perhaps I do take after Mom more than Dad. Never thought about it before, to be honest. To Cyenide, it was a blunt shot against his heart. He himself was going to have his own family with Ariath, but those dreams had been taken away. Would they have look more like their mother? Bright with darker markings? Would they have gentle natures like hers? Cyenide did not know, he was more blunt, sage like. Darker in hue. Still, Cyenide just nodded, as his dark eyes looked over the forests he used to roam.
 
Yes. Still alive and kicking. An enjoying being a first-time grandfather. I know he’ll be happy to see you but I should probably warn you that I can’t guarantee he’s going to remember you at first. We lost...too much to Asylum. My grandpa and then my parents. Even Aunt Raka for a short time before she came back recently. Byakko’s memory is still sharp, mind, but we’re all still recovering from what we lost that day. He had heard, Cyenide would not say anything, understand what grief did to the mind. How it twisted and wrapped what was. He should have been here to help, to fight against those who had attacked Nardir. But he had just walked off one day, left because of his grief over loosing Ariath. But he was not going to dwell on that with Akutan. ”Nothing changes you for the worse than time, especially if it is hard.” And that was the truth of all things.
 
But a silence mulled then, Cyenide did not see the young guard steel himself to get one with the process. Are you ready to begin the acceptance process? An experienced guard would have already been determining his worth, would have snuck in questions while they talked. But Cyenide was old, wise and had done this dance many times with wolves that had just been like him. So he did not mind going through the process. He nodded his head, agreeing to the start. ”What questions do you have?”

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2017, 01:38:09 PM »
”What questions do you have?” Cyenide asked. "Let's start off with where you've been all this time. After the Exile ended when we won territory in the marshes, not many of the Old Nardiri came back. I'm curious to know if you were aware of the reformation of the pack at the time." Akutan began. The statement had a two-fold meaning. It told Cyenide that he was one of the few original members to have returned and that the pack had definitely changed since he was last among them.
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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2017, 06:48:27 PM »
"Let's start off with where you've been all this time. After the Exile ended when we won territory in the marshes, not many of the Old Nardiri came back. I'm curious to know if you were aware of the reformation of the pack at the time." And Cyenide turned from his looking over Nardir, his musings, to look at the young dark guard. Jovian, Cyenide thought, they are Jovian winds now. His eyes went ghostly, like he was lost in a dark memory. He remembered just living, going far away, so far that he couldn't remember if he was in any known territory. No Tortuga, Death Valley or Reach. All he remembered is dark mountains, mountains surrounded by desert and snow. "In my grief, I just kept running. I went to the only place I could remember, a place from my past.  I traveled far passed the Fringe, until all that was around me was mountains and desert." He hadn't cared where he was going. All he wanted to do was get away. He didn't want to a part of anywhere that might remind him of what he had lost.

"I was far away from anyone bringing me word of Nardir. Only recently have I discovered by my Ariath wouldn't like me being cloistered away from the world. So I came back. I had no idea what Nardir had gone through in my absence." Had he been here...what would have happened? Would they have survived? Would they have survived the attacks? Not gone into Exile? He had no idea. All he could do now was hope that he pass this test, to make his way back into the place he had called home. "But time is the thing that changes you the harshest, I should have expected some things to change." And it was true.

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2017, 09:22:32 PM »
Akutan hummed as Cyenide explained that he had been far away when Nardir reformed in the marshes. He mentioned an Ariath and surmised it was a wolf of great importance to him. "Rest assured that while some restructuring was done, this is still the Nardir you know. We're just full of new faces." he said.

"Any health problems we should know about? Any injuries for the Halos to look at?" he then asked. Cyenide looked fine but it was always expected of Jovians to ask anyway. It kept the pack ahead of potential outbreaks and since they had the very old and the very young to worry about, it was important to know.
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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2017, 01:55:12 PM »
I feel like I replied to this! Oh my Lord I am so sorry that I have not.]
 
The old wolf thought he was going to fail in this inspection. A lot of the time it was like that, that he was a wolf who had failed so many times. In the beginning he had fought hard against his failures but it was one of those things that was not looked at. All of his time with the wolves who held him captive, all those who had beaten him, tortured him and ruined him had not broken him with grief. But the loss of a loved one, one who made all that dark go away, was something that could break him. Nardir had healed him and then broke him again. Still, the old wolf was wily enough to answer his questions, and still be truthful in the end.
 
Rest assured that while some restructuring was done, this is still the Nardir you know. We’re just full of new faces. the young dark wolf said, Cyenide nodding as he had done so. Everything changed, nothing stayed the same. Even the mighty forest with their sage like ways could not stay unchanged by time. But Nardir still smelled the same, still brought to him the deep thought of yearning that made him want. He saw the lands through his minds eye. He missed the trees, god did he miss them. Cyenide was not a mountain wolf, or desert or anything else that did not involve some sort of conifer or maple.
 
Any health problems we should know about? Any injuries for the Halos to look at? the wolf asked, an important question. A young part of the wolf wanted to ask what kind of answer he would get if he replied sarcastically. But a hurt came over him too, a heart deep hurt that would never go away. His deep grief over his loss also came up front, etched onto his face in a quickness that was frightening. ”Unless they have discovered a way to mend a broken heart, then I am perfectly hale and hearty.” All except the broken heart that lay still beating in his chest.

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2017, 03:41:46 PM »
”Unless they have discovered a way to mend a broken heart, then I am perfectly hale and hearty.” Cyenide replied. Akutan merely nodded. He had a legit loss in his past, which the Maelstrom knew better than to pry into. Because he was in the same boat, only it was his parents and grandfather he had lost. "No enemies to speak of...I don't see you as someone who would cross the wrong animals. No injuries or illness." he ticked off out loud to keep his thoughts going.

"Don't be offended but are you still physically able to carry on a rank? I can explain what ranks we have now and see if there's a fit for you. Or if you've hit ten years, you can retire to our Pulsar rank. Your choice. We just need to arrange to tell Alana either way. Plenty of time to decide so there's no rush. Wolves of your experience are needed in this pack." he put forward. Cyenide couldn't be that much older than Byakko and he appeared physically fit to boot. Byakko was nearing the age one could become a Pulsar himself. A long-retired warrior, his uncle now served on the Star Coucil using his experience.
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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2017, 04:42:01 PM »
"No enemies to speak of...I don't see you as someone who would cross the wrong animals. No injuries or illness." Cyenide had lived in isolation, had not yet made any enemies. In reality, when he had been with the back he hadn't had much of them either. Cyenide was a old wolf who had gotten along with pretty much everyone he had come across. Not a evil word could be said about him, except maybe from the wolves he had denied entrance to Nardir. The only thing that the old wolf had in his heart of peace and a wanting of peace. Despite his life being the way that it was, how he had been a son born a gladiator. But the wolf completely ignored his statement. But the only injury and illness that he was was that of a broken heart. Ariath....he thought of her. The pale blue of her fur, the way that it shined like moonlight when in the sun and under the moon. The wolf would never forget that he was now a widower of sorts. And it made him sink back into the grief he had spent so much time trying to get over.

Not that his love would want him to be this way. She would have wanted him to keep on living. "Don't be offended but are you still physically able to carry on a rank? I can explain what ranks we have now and see if there's a fit for you. Or if you've hit ten years, you can retire to our Pulsar rank. Your choice. We just need to arrange to tell Alana either way. Plenty of time to decide so there's no rush. Wolves of your experience are needed in this pack." Cyenide turned his eyes back to the black wolf. Aukutan, if he was watching, could feel the wrath of a old timer heading his way. Was he able to hold a rank? yes, by god he was. Cyenide was old. Far older than what he should be, but the wolf could still carry on with a rank. His voice was terse, a little harsh and gritty, but he answered the question. "I am fit for any duty you wish to put me on. But as you said, that is for Alana to decide." And that was true. Cyenide was getting on there in years, his muzzle no salted with grey. But the wolf still had fight left in him. Maybe one more.

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Re: Better Than I Used to Be [Acceptance]
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2017, 08:29:22 PM »
Akutan just let the look he got roll off. He wasn't phased in the slightest and he wasn't blessed with the ability to sugarcoat anything. His past made sure of that. And the fact Storm was his father had a hand in it, too. Storm was blunt, too. He said things as he saw them. "I am fit for any duty you wish to put me on. But as you said, that is for Alana to decide." he said. The Maelstrom shut his pale green eyes in thought.

Aside from the aforementioned broken heart, which no one (aside from Cyenide himself) could help him with, he was in good shape for his age. He had experience and the advantage of being what he called one of the Lost Ones, Nardiri who hadn't come back from Exile. He didn't have trouble following him. Why drag this out any further?

Akutan opened his eyes and stood up. "I see no point in delaying this any further. Welcome home. If you have any questions, now is the time." he said, before stepping aside to let Cyenide cross into Nardiri territory.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2017, 02:15:44 PM by Sekirei »
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