Author Topic: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]  (Read 338 times)

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Offline .Blaise.

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Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« on: July 01, 2017, 07:30:19 AM »
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Tired. That's how he felt. The more considerate bits of him twinged, everything else ached. His old bones protested at the work he was doing, but it had to be done. Besides the task was good for him, the repetitive nature of it was soothing, and having something to do stopped his mind from thinking too much about other things like why he was here and why he was doing this...

It was a quiet spot, the very edge of Inaria, flush against the sea. A grass slope stretched down into sharp blue-green sea grass and thence to the smooth grey and golden stones that mingled on the sea shore. Waves lapped quietly, caressing and gently turning the stones with frothy white fingers as gently as if they were eggs. A constant salty breeze shook the grasses and shivered the dry, blackened, sea weed that had become caught in gaunt branches of driftwood. The trees carcasses lay like the bones of great sea beasts, bleached and white, fetched up above the the high tide line. In it's own way it was beautiful, but Blasie had never spent much time in this area of the pack land; it seemed now that he had lived here for some time that very few did - Inarian's loved the forest, trees and dappled sunlight, he thought wistfully - but really that was exactly how he wanted it. Quiet. No prying eyes or probing questions from vapid well wishers. Out here there was some seclusion and privacy for Kita and himself while she... He pushed the thought away roughly. Now was not the time.

He crunched over the shingle, ears up and fading golden eyes fixed out to the distant horizon, enjoying the feel of the wind on his face and it playing in his whiskers, for a moment before returning to his search. Soon he found what he was looking for, a stone of just the right size and shape lay half submerged in a rock pool, he grasped it in his jaws, tasting salt. With clear difficulty, he heaved the unwieldy object up and turned to climb off the beach onto the sea grass slope, his paws slipping a couple of times on the loose gravel. It was a slow climb but once at the top of the rise he deposited his cargo and huffed for a moment, sitting back on his haunches and catching his breath. After his brief rest he tucked the stone it into it's place, turning it a couple of times to get the best fit, completing the first row of the circle he was creating. It was not a large circle, only about as wide as he was long. At the front, facing the forest, the there was a small gap that formed an entrance. He stepped over the low circle of stones to enter his creation and lay down to one side, testing the size and space. Yes, he and Kita would fit snuggly in here. Pushing himself back to his feet he trotted back down the slope to collect another stone, feeling a greater sense of purpose and achievement. The foundation was complete now he just needed to more stones to build up the walls. Soon their cairn would be ready.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2017, 07:33:22 AM by .Blaise. »

Offline Moons

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Re: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2017, 01:03:16 PM »
Time ticked on by, moving forward even when the rest of the world wanted it to sit still. It stopped for no one, and it was impossible to slow down or even move forward faster. It was almost ironic to see that the kids wanted time to go by more quickly; they wanted to grow, reach their full potential already. Adults, however, wished for more time. Wished for it to stop, slow down, take it's time (haha) and appreciate each and every moment. Particularly when it came to looking after their own children.

Moons had found that feeling was common for her once she became a mother. Her children grew at a rapid pace, and soon enough they were all adults and finding their own place in life. It made her smile, but also feel sad. Was this was other parents went through in realizing their kids no longer needed them? It sort of left her with an empty feeling, like something was missing, but it wasn't the same as grieving someone who had died. Gin was often around in her life, visiting and even spending nights in her den with her. Her son always bonded and remained close to her, and she appreciated that to no end. But she also wanted him to have his own life.

She thought of this as she lay in the healer's garden, watching butterflies flutter around the flowers nearby. Here a while already, the critters were used to her presence, and were venturing closer and closer to her. With her head on her paws, Moons only shifted her gaze to watch one of the butterflies land on a flower very close to her nose and stay on it for a while. Huffing gently, she closed her eyes and remained still.

Eventually Moons stirred, having laid around for long enough. Stretching, she startled a couple of the bugs and she smiled apologetically before leaving the garden, off to head towards the beach. That was another calm place for her, and she hadn't been there in a while. Paws very familiar with the territory moved almost automatically, finding the path that led the way to the beach the fastest. When she finally emerged, the sound of the ocean's waves crashing upon the shore reaching her ears, she sighed as she breathed in the salty air. It felt refreshing. A movement caught her eye, and she looked, only to look startled as she recognized that pale pelt.

It can't be. Can it?

"Blaise?" she said out loud, the name feeling a little foreign on her tongue after so long. Her friend had been nowhere to be found for so long, she had almost started to wonder whether him and Kita were still around Inaria. Immediately she shifted direction and trotted in his direction, still feeling dumbfounded that he had been so readily spotted. As if nothing had been wrong. Or was there..? There was a certain tiredness to his gait Moons hadn't recalled there being before. "Blaise!" she called to him, her tail wagging behind her as she bee-lined directly for him. "Hey, wait up!" Breaking into a light run, she caught up to him soon and slowed near him.

Her expression was a combination of surprise, elation, and overall just confusion. "Where have you been?! I've been so worried about you!" Moons said, amber eyes looking him over as she spoke. She also attempted to place a kiss on his forehead in affection; it had been so long! "I'm so glad to see you~" Then her gaze shifted to the rock he had been hauling. "What have you been up to?"
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Offline .Blaise.

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Re: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2017, 08:18:29 AM »
"Blaise? Blaise! Hey, wait up!"

Say who what now? He let go of the stone he had been hauling, letting it drop among the other stones with a sharp crack as he looked up to see the source of the call. He had to squint a bit, his long distance visions was not that great any more, but once the red shape got closer he had no problem recognizing her and his heart leapt. Moons! He took a step towards her, a broad smile across his face as he went to greet his old friend. He paused after only a pace, frozen, suddenly realizing how awkward this actually was, how long it had really been, and that he had just vanished from her life with out an explanation. He had an explanation, it was a good one, but it also sounded so callous and distrustful to Moons to tell her why they hadn't seen each other in so long. It was never his intention to hurt her, or anyone... It was just easier... It was so selfish of him and he knew it but he just couldn't help it. They just... He never expected... It all sounded like excuses. Ultimately it was because he had been hiding the truth from everyone to hide it from himself, if everyone knew how Kita was they wouldn't let him deny it anymore. Only recently had he been able to accept it, one morning she had been particularly bad and he knew he was loosing her... But by then it had gone on so long he didn't know how to get back from the isolation he had created. It was that isolation that had driven him to devise his current project. The cairn was all about keeping them together so if... When... The worst happened they wouldn't be parted.

"Where have you been?! I've been so worried about you! I'm so glad to see you~"

He unfroze as she got closer and wagged his tail apologetically as he accepted her show of affection, though he made a show of wrinkling his nose a bit and laughed "Ewww cooties!" as he swatted a paw lightly at her like he was a pup being kissed by it's grandma. She looked at the rock and he side stepped to hide it. "It's so good to see you." He said softly and meant it, it was crashing in on him just how lonely he had been. It was all of his making though so he would have to grin and bear it, pretend like everything was normal.

"What have you been up to?"

Now she was closer she would probably see how time had treated him while they had been apart, it had caught him up as time was want to do. His blonde coat was sheened with grey, his nose that had once only been flecked was nearly all grey now and his golden eyes were not quite so clear as they had been. Of course she had questions about where he had been and what he had been doing but... He couldn't really say 'One of your best friends is probably dying but I didn't tell you and just vanished because I don't know how to deal with it so I kept it to myself because and just didn't want to talk about it with anyone. Ever. Because that would make it true.' "Oh you know... Things... And stuff." That was the worst explanation ever. As for what he was doing right now... She might find him building his own grave a little morbid. "Well um - We moved out here!" Blaise said overly cheerily, in the same way you might tell someone you have retired to Florida. "It's nice. real quiet. Lot's of sun and sea air, I thought it might be good for her." That last comment was hitting a little close to the mark. "Enough about me! What about you? How you doin'? How's Gin?" He asked conversationally, trying to change the subject.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2017, 08:19:16 AM by .Blaise. »

Offline Moons

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Re: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2017, 07:01:13 PM »
He smiled back at her, and Moons felt elated at the reunion. She loved him to no end, he was one of the closest friends she had made in this pack to date. They had even had their falling out way back when, but that didn't matter. Not anymore. They had moved on from that, resolved it, and stayed just as close. Like her, his tail wagged, and it set her heart at ease to know that he was at least okay. Relatively, looking at him and noticed the little details of age that she hadn't seen during her run over to him.

"Ewww cooties!" Distracted by his banter, Moons laughed richly and stuck her tongue out at him. "Yes! I give you all the cooties!" she joked back, lifting a paw to ruffle his head fur. God she missed this with him, and it felt so good to do it again. "It's so good to see you." Her gaze softened, smiling at her old friend. "And it's wonderful to see you, Blaise," she returned, tail swaying softly as the salty breeze kicked up around them.

"I've missed you so much," she admitted, stepping forward to press her forehead to his in an affectionate gesture. Stepping back, she smiled at him. "You and Kita." He really had no idea how much she missed them both. They had helped her through so much, and they had all been together through hell. Moons missed their friendship, missed their jokes, missed them. It was almost unbelievable to have him standing before her again, talking as though it hadn't been forever since they last saw each other. Since before the war, even.

It was a weight off her shoulders to realize the war had not taken them.

"Oh you know... Things... And stuff." Moons raised an eyebrow at him. Really Blaise? You're going to pull that off on me? "Must be a lot of 'things and stuff,'" she said in the same motherly tone she used on her children when they tried to brush off the truth. "C'mon Blaise," Moons added softly, all joking aside. "I know you better than that." And you know me better than that. I can read you just as well as you can read me.

But it seemed he wasn't done yet. "Well um - We moved out here!" Well that much she could guess was true. It would explain why Moons hadn't seen them in so long. She glanced around, turning her head to see their surroundings better. "It's nice. real quiet. Lot's of sun and sea air, I thought it might be good for her." Blaise may have forgotten, but Moons was good at details. And she had not missed the comment. "Her? Kita?" Immediately she felt her heart clench in her chest. Was something wrong? Something Blaise was not telling her? It would make sense for him to try and beat around the bush about it.

"Blaise, what's goin--" she began to ask, her voice tinged with concern, but she was cut off. "Enough about me! What about you? How you doin'? How's Gin?" Moons stepped forward, shaking her head. Not this time. "Blaise, what's going on?" Skirting the question, she dove for the topic that had her the most concerned. "Where's Kita?" Then, realizing she might be overwhelming him, she took it a step back and softened her gaze. "You can tell me, Blaise. I'm here for you, my friend." Honestly, she was. Blaise had to know that.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2017, 07:05:53 PM by Moons »
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Re: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2017, 03:39:34 PM »
"Must be a lot of 'things and stuff, I know you better than that."

Blaise just smiled at her, a smile that gave nothing away, and looked out to sea, neither answering or denying or her statement. This was the sort of enevitable encounter he had been both longing for and dreading, a break from the isolation but also a knife prying open the shell of his denial.

"Her? Kita?"

"She's fine-" He lied as Moons started pushing. Moons did know him too well, he knew that she knew he was hiding something. Sparks of panic flared in him as he realised everything was about to unravel. He could save it yet though, if he could just hold steady...

"Blaise, what's goin--"

"Enjoying a break is all." He tried to twist and wriggle, dodge the questions. "But no really, how is Gin?" His voice was a little plantive as he changed the subject and down right ignored direct questions, but Moons shook her head and stood her ground, even literally took a step towards him.

Please don't.

"Blaise, what's going on?"

He took a step back, then two, he wanted to flee, to run from this confrontation, to save himself. She was refusing to let him continue his fiction, but he needed it so badly. He was drowning and it was all he had to cling to. "Please just drop it." He whined so quietly is was barely audible.

Don't make me say it. Don't make it true.

"Where's Kita?"

But no, Moons pushed. "She's sick okay!" Blaise snapped. The spell was broken, he'd said it aloud. The truth was supposed to set you free but Blaise felt no weight lift from him, only a crushing despair gripping him so tight he felt physically sick.

"You can tell me, Blaise. I'm here for you, my friend."

"You can't see her." Blaise said more softly, instantly regretting his harshness and the way he had delivered such news, Moons didn't deserve it... But then since when did anyone get what they deserved? "She wouldn't know you. She doesn't really kno-" His voice broke and he closed his eyes as he cleared his tightening throat, "know me anymore." He sat down heavily, feeling weaker all of a sudden and a tremor ran through him. "Yesterday she asked if I had given my report about the Black Bloods to Whitewind yet then dismissed me." He hung his head, shook it and laughed, though there was no mirth in the sounds and slowly the noise changed into a hiccuping sob and then suddenly he was crying. He didn't know if he was crying for Kita or for himself. Tears pattered down on the sand between his paws and he wiped them away roughly as he struggled to catch his breath. "I-I'm loosing h-h-her but she's al-already gone-ne r-really." He had stopped trying to hide the tears and rocked back and forward fixing Moons with an anguished expression. "S-She bit me. I-I brought her-her fav-favourite d-dormouse and she said -s-she told me to get-get away and-and I- and she-she..." His words ran out and he was just left with tears and body shaking sobs.

The one he loved most in the world was dying and it was killing him.

Offline Moons

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Re: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2017, 07:40:20 PM »
Moons looked at Blaise's smile, and it made her smile back despite the turn the conversation was going. He was her dear friend, and it was for that reason that she pushed the way she did. Something was going on beneath the surface, and if there was a way she could help, Moons wanted to be the one to provide that. It was the least she could do for not being there for so long for Blaise and Kita. Granted he was the one that moved away, but that didn't take away the guilt from not having been present to help.

The more she pushed, the more he stammered through his attempts at brushing it off. Normally Moons would back off, but she sensed that there was something deeper that had to be brought out. This didn't appear like a "Kita only had a cold" or she was too tired. "But no really, how is Gin?" The question didn't even halt the Marchioness. Perhaps she would regret this later, but she was moving forward and there was no looking back to where she was going.

And finally; finally, there was the revelation of the truth.

"She's sick okay!" Moons straightened, ears erect and posture frozen at his jagged words. The tension between the two was palpable, but it wasn't at each other. It was the tension of the realization that Kita was so much worse than it seemed. The news of her friend hit Moons like a sack of bricks against her chest. Like someone had knocked her over and promptly sat on her. "Blaise..." she whispered, his name drifting out and being lost to the wind between them as the weight now became shared with the one who loved her as a friend, and the one who loved her as a spouse.

As Blaise continued, the dam now cracking before them both, Moons sat down hard against the ground. Floored. "You can't see her." At first she was going to open her mouth to protest, but his next words froze her own in their tracks. "She wouldn't know you. She doesn't really kno- know me anymore." Not know Blaise...? Not know Blaise? All she could do was sit there, amber eyes wide and jaw dropped as he revealed the secret he had been holding for so long. "Yesterday she asked if I had given my report about the Black Bloods to Whitewind yet then dismissed me." Living in the past... knowing nothing else. Moons guessed Kita would probably not even know her at all from the time period she was in. The way she was treating Blaise.

Oh, Blaise...

Moons hadn't realized she started crying until the patter of her tears on the ground matched those of her friend.

"I-I'm loosing h-h-her but she's al-already gone-ne r-really." The maroon female stood without realizing it, her body setting into motion before her brain could even think of the idea. She moved to Blaise, wrapping him in a hug as he rocked back and forth in his torture. "S-She bit me. I-I brought her-her fav-favourite d-dormouse and she said -s-she told me to get-get away and-and I- and she-she..." There were no more words. Moons enveloped him in a strong, tight hug that was meant to take all his hurt away, share it together as she realized how much he had suffered. And alone.

"I'm so sorry Blaise," she whispered in his ear, her voice full of emotion as they both sat there together under the dark news. "I had no idea... I wish there was something I could do..." And oh how she wished there was a way to take his pain away. To make Kita better. "I'm here for you, though. Both of you." Words, meaningless in their lack of comfort, she knew that. But Moons wanted Blaise to know he no longer had to go through this alone. She was here for him, and she wouldn't let him suffer like this anymore. Whatever was in her power to take away even a sliver of his pain, she would do it.
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Characters I Actively Role-play: Moons | Corvus |Rykryk | Flamestorm | Seven |Yoki | Phoenix | Electra | Coronach | Cruciatus | Zodiac | Tide | Skylar
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Offline .Blaise.

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Re: Nothing Gold Can Stay [Moons]
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2017, 07:27:17 PM »
Moons envolped him in a hug and for a moment he stiffened, pushing away slightly. After he excluded, ignored, avoided and downright lied to her, she still wanted to comfort him? He didn't deserve her sympathy or affection. But... It just felt good to be held. He'd spent so many nights curled up outside the den, keeping watch over Kita but unable to be near her, cold and restless. Utterly alone. To be held close by someone who loved him, platonic as their love was... He just needed it.

"I'm so sorry Blaise, I had no idea... I wish there was something I could do... I'm here for you, though. Both of you."

He crumpled against Moons and sinking into her hug, feeling the warmth of her fur and listening to the steady beat of her heart. Life. He stayed there resting against her, drawing strength from her. "Thank-k you..." He whispered, struggling through the words as his breath hitched with each inhalation. She was still here. "For-for being... Y-You." She was still herself. Still Moons, his best friend, he hadn't lost her even if he deserved to.

"T-The kids- t-the kids do-don't kn-know. I-I did-didn't-don't know how-how to ex-explain-" He battled against the sobs, fighting to regain control of his breathing, his shaking frame. "If-if she..." He closed his eyes, squeezing out more tears that clung to Moons fur. What if she went for one of them in her confusion? He wouldn't have even thought it, she would never do such a thing - but then she had sunk her fangs into him and he'd never thought she would do that. His sweet and gentle Kita was gone. The deepest and guiltiest part of his heart wished it would just end. That whatever cruel force was holding her here, but not now, would let her go. That she would let go. He wanted death for the one he loved most and would never know if that wish was kindness or selfishness. He only knew for sure that it made him want to vomit.

His eyes felt dry and swollen, his chest hurt, he burried his face in Moons fur and breathed out the one thing he had been struggling with most, because it was the most important -and now for him hardest- part of all this. "I-I-They need t-to remember her h-how she was." He took a deep, shaking, breath "That-That she love-loved the-the-them" He was rocking again. Sobbing even harder. It hurt. It all hurt so much. "My-My-Ki-Kita" Moons comfort was something but it just wasn't enough. He wanted Kita back. He missed her so much.